Yellow Days - I Believe In Love
Some photos Mum took of me in Tenerife a couple of weeks ago. I have spent ages working through all the photos I took so I am excited to be finally starting to share some of them. In these ones I am wearing one of my favourite bikinis from Asceno, which I am definitely going to get in some more colours because it's one of the best fitting ones I have.
I am not feeling great in my own skin at the moment. While I have opted to title this post Yellow Days, 'Grey Days' might have been more apt. I have sat down to write something like this numerous times, to the point that I can't even remember what I have/haven't shared online as I try to work through this weird phase. My confidence is quite low (seeing these photos has helped in some way though!), because my mental health has been suffering a little and the two really do go hand in hand. I know we all go through these phases of low confidence, and maybe they are really important for a frame of reference for when we are feeling more confident too. So many people I have spoken to recently are just feeling 'meh', and while maybe there is something in retrograde, there is definitely a lot to be said for this time of year being generally bleak and just a bit shit. When we are all just itching for Spring and Summer and yet the weather seems to refuse to be much more than very, very grey and relentlessly wet. A few days of sunshine in Tenerife helped so much, until it meant coming back to London with a bit of a bang.
This blog post is becoming a stream of consciousness! I didn't manage to finish writing it yesterday and just sat down at my desk the following morning to write it, having woken up to blue skies and light streaming into my bedroom. I have taken 1039100 photos, and feel like a new person without even having had a cuppa yet! Let's blame this slump entirely on the weather! I think the grey days make us all want to hibernate, and in doing so go inside ourselves more and more. Making me more critical of myself, and essentially more self absorbed and worrying about things I would never normally worry about. And then a vulnerable vicious cycle starts that takes some serious self control to pull yourself out of. Today, I hope to be the day I pull myself out of it (lets see what happens when it rains again this weekend!)