I feel overwhelmed by the pace at which time seems to be passing me. Of course time is always constant, doesn’t speed up or slow down, no matter how boring the task or shift at work, no matter how blissful the moment you want to hold onto. But recently, it seems to be running away from me. I know I am not alone with this, I haven’t spoken to a single person who doesn’t feel somewhat affronted by the fact it’s December. My life recently feels like a not so well balanced mix of being extremely rushed, to then feeling extremely restless. I think when you are operating at 1000mph, all you crave is an entire day to be slow, but when I get that (or even an hour to two), it feels like an endless expanse in front of me that then makes me agitated. The age-old tale of wanting what you can't have. I wonder if it's quite symptomatic for this time of year, when everyone is really craving the Christmas break and the change in pace that brings (which often seeps into January, in my industry anyway).
This weekend was a perfect balance. A friend came to stay for one night, I had nearly all of Saturday by myself just getting things done, really getting more and more engrossed in A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. Sunday my friend and I went to Broadway Market, had a great breakfast and a lovely walk. And then I spend the evening watching Lost in Translation (Tokyo prep), reading before having an early night. The whole balance felt really nice, not as restless and/or rushed as the past few weeks.